Survival Instinct
Darrell Anderson wasn’t a fighter until he became a US war deserter—and found something to fight for in Canada
BY Nina Dragicevic
Photography by Nina Dragicevic
Darrell Anderson was a 20-year-old father working odd jobs to support his daughter when he joined the army. For four years of service he would receive $50,000—enough to pay for college. He had been in training for a year when the US invaded Iraq, and Anderson went willingly.
But after seven months, his patriotism was dimmed by the realities of war. Anderson took a piece of shrapnel in his side and was awarded a Purple Heart. He became further disillusioned, after returning to battle, when he was given orders to fire at an unarmed Iraqi family. So when he was given leave to return home to Lexington, Kentucky, in December to spend Christmas with his family, he decided he couldn’t go back. A few days before he was to return to service, Anderson drove north, leaving behind family and friends, to seek refugee status in Canada. He awaits his hearing in Toronto, and is represented by Jeffry House, the lawyer and Vietnam War draft-dodger who represented Jeremy Hinzman, another Iraq war deserter, in March.
Time magazine included you in a piece about deserters titled “Courage or cowardice?” Which best describes your decision?
They call me a deserter. But is it me who deserted, or my country that deserted its morals? I went to Iraq, got a Purple Heart, came back and stood up to the most powerful government and army in the world. If that’s not courage, then what is?
Why did you join the army?
I was doing warehouse work and whatnot. Eight bucks an hour, just enough to get by in my cruddy little apartment. Just enough to pay rent and take care of my ’82 Malibu. Working so hard and being so broke, I got to the point where I asked myself, “Do I want to work regular jobs and struggle my whole life?” No. The army was something to maybe turn things around and go down the right path.
It was always like, if all else fails and everything goes wrong in my life, I’ll join the army. I had to get into college soon. That was the main thing. And they give you $50,000 for college, for four years. I came to a point where I was willing to do anything, even join the army, to better my life and have a chance at a future.
When did you become disillusioned with the war?
There were instances where [my superiors] were ordering me to open fire, and I felt I wasn’t in any danger. In Baghdad, a car had breached our perimeter and the windows were rolled down. There was a family in there, two parents and some kids in the back. I was ordered to open fire but I felt no threat, I felt the car posed no threat. I didn’t fire and [my superiors] were screaming at me, “Next time, you open fire. You do what you’re told.” They ordered me to kill innocent people.
In April 2004, I was driving a howitzer tank and my buddy got hit. He was the lookout. He fell into the tank, bleeding in my lap. I had to take his place. I pointed my weapon at someone—I was so enraged—and I just wanted to kill someone. And this kid was running, carrying something that could have been a weapon, and I took that as an excuse to shoot him. We were told to. I pointed my weapon at him and fired, but my weapon was on safe. So I clicked it off, pointed at him again, and stopped. I thought, what is my country doing to me that they make me want to kill innocent people? He was an Iraqi boy, like 14, just running with something in his hand. I thought, is it worth killing someone to go to college?
Why did you come to Canada?
I didn’t want to go the hiding route. I wanted to be up front, apply for refugee status, and not hide from this.
When I came back from Iraq, I was depressed, wondering what this world has come to, that the US could do this. But coming to the War Resister meetings, making speeches at protests, seeing people who care and are trying to change things, I found a new light. You know, at least the whole world’s not bad. I’ve seen Canadians stand up for things—resisting the war in Iraq, protesting against the US, keeping health care free. Those are things I would fight for.
What has this cost you?
I’ve lost everything—my family, friends, home, my future, but I still have my human right to choose not to kill innocent people.
What have you gained?
I guess what I’ve taken from this is that you appreciate the simplest things.
