Give Peace a Chance
Hetty van Gurp’s crusade against cruelty
BY Andre Mayer
Photography by Kent Nason
Hetty van Gurp knows malice. While growing up, she and her siblings were victims of their father’s tyranny. In 1991, her 14-year-old son Ben was killed by a schoolyard bully. A less resilient person might have resigned herself to a life of rage and bitterness, but van Gurp undertook something more constructive: she began a crusade against cruelty. In 2001, after three decades as an educator in Nova Scotia, van Gurp founded Peaceful Schools International, an advocacy group that, through training and consulting, helps schools establish “a culture of peace.” A woman of inexhaustible kindness and empathy, van Gurp has spent the past few years taking her message abroad, giving workshops in places such as Ireland, Cambodia and Macedonia. Her pioneering work was the subject of a 2004 documentary by filmmaker Teresa MacInnes. Teaching Peace in a Time of War chronicles van Gurp’s efforts to promote amity and reconciliation at the Vasa Pelagic School in Belgrade, Serbia.
Do you believe people are inherently good or bad?
Good. I do sincerely believe that. And I don’t think it’s naïve. I just don’t believe that any child is born with a compelling urge to hurt someone. I believe it’s something that they learn. I guess maybe I want to believe it. In my experience in talking with kids at school who are aggressive or even violent, there is always, without exception, an underlying reason: some tragic home situation or life experience that caused them to react that way to others.
What have you gathered about the boy who took your son’s life?
It was too difficult for me to really dig too deeply because I didn’t really know the young man, but I did hear from some of the teachers in the school that this fellow had a very difficult home life. He was sort of moved from one relative to another and didn’t really have any kind of stable upbringing. In a way, that sort of eased my mind knowing that, again, there’s a reason he acted the way he did. It doesn’t excuse it or make it any easier, but it helped me understand it a bit.
What was the greatest revelation in your dealings with the children in Serbia?
Dusan is the [Serbian] boy in the film who talks about his hatred of Shiptars [Albanians]. Dusan came to our summer camp in Nova Scotia last August. I was just working on a document and he wrote some of his feelings about the film and I was just reading his quotes. He said the film speaks for itself: “I only hope that these times will never happen again. We have to work for peace as the most important thing in every part of the world,” which indicates to me that he’s had a bit of a change of heart. And sometimes that’s what it takes—taking these kids out of their environment and showing them there are people who are accepting of others and open-minded and tolerant of differences.
What’s the biggest obstacle to what you refer to as a culture of peace?
The biggest obstacle is the fact that some teachers still believe in coming at discipline from a position of authority and control, and it just doesn’t work anymore. It may have worked in what we refer to as the good old days, when it was really all about fear and control, but it’s not working any more. I think we have to shift our way of approaching issues of discipline.
